They say daughters will always have a special bond with their fathers, I guess this is true for me. We have had our differences but we were able to accept each other without uncertainties.
It doesn’t have to be Father’s day for us to show our appreciation to our father. We can thank them in every little way we can, to remind them that they are half the reason for our existence, half the reason why we are here. They have been with us all through our years of childhood, maybe not for some, but for me, yes he was there. He may not be a perfect father but he is just who I need.
Last night as I stared at my dad, I realized how frail he has become. All those years of wandering and searching for something that was missing in his life, all those years of finding something that cannot and will not exist, all those worn out years of not having to belong to anyone, all those has made him fragile and weak compared to what he used to be. I cried a bit as I stared at him asking myself where I was all these years in his life. I can still remember when he used to teach me how to ride the bicycle and the time when I joined the Taekwondo team just to “feel” how it was to do some karate stuff just because my classmates are in to it. He had the patience and tolerance that molded me into becoming a better person.
He was there during my first steps, my first birthday, my first communion, my first school year, first graduation and even my most crucial first broken heart, he was always there to look after me. I wondered where those years have gone by. He is now on his 74th year of existence, just had his birthday last January 1st, and I want to let him know how much he is loved and respected. He was always there for me. Now the question is, where was I during his significant times of being alone, when no one shared his grief and sadness… I guess I wasn’t there, somehow, I failed him during those times. I felt a strike of guilt creeping in my mind but then again, I can no longer bring those years back with regrets. It is finally time to move on and take advantage of the remaining years that we have with him. He is already in his twilight years and I am bound to let him spend it in total bliss. I may not be able to give him all the material things he desires for, but what I can offer him is an unconditional love that only a daughter can offer without asking for anything back except for more time with him.
It is sad being a product of a broken marriage, but hey, we should never dwell on what was, but instead, let us spend time as if it were our last so that we may fully enjoy the blessings that the good Lord is giving us every waking hour of our lives. Our parents may have unsettled differences but that should not make us bitter but better, should not make us half, but whole, and being in a family of such, all the more that we have to be thankful that they tried, at one point in their lives, two people exerted all energy to be together, no matter what pain it caused them, and for me, that is the best expression of the greatest love of all…
To both my parents, I will always be here for you no matter what. I love you both so much…
~ Your only Daughter
