Several years back, I didn't really care much about my life. Life for me simply means that you have to live one day at a time, no projections of the future, no plans, no worries and no hopes. Well, of course that changed when my first born came into my life. I learned to be more responsible, caring and independent, learned to value the simple things in life, like a smile in his face, the first tooth, first words and all milestones (or surprises, as I used to call it) of my baby. I have learned to hold on to life, to begin to hope and to love unconditionally. Nothing is more important for me than my kid. So imagine how I would feel if something happens. But then, accidents happen. One night, I had a drink with a friend. I'm not really a big drinker so we didn't actually feasted that night with a whole lot of alcohol. My mistake was that, when my friend asked me to take her home, I did, with my baby... He was 2 at that time. As we were headed home after dropping my friend off to her house, we had an accident. My baby was seated in front with me when we collided with another car. I didn't see it coming. It was not that I was drunk but it was that the driver in the front car actually stopped in the middle of the road just because he forgot to take left turn. My baby was safe and I had like a fraction of an injury, which turned out to be 4 fractured ribs. Whatever the reason was, I was still under the influence of alcohol and that's it. I didn't really care much if I was in pain at that time, I needed to make sure that my baby was okay, and he was, thank God. After I checked and saw that he was okay, I suddenly collapsed, I didn't really know why. It could be because I took all the strength I have just to make sure I put my baby to safety. When we reached the hospital, we were all in surprised when the doctor disclosed my situation. I care less, what was important for me at that time was that everything was okay. And that was the last time that I drove. Lesson learned, don't drink and drive, whatever may happen in the road, you will always have to pick the blame because any level of alcohol in the body will always leave us at a confused state, somehow. After that incident, I kept blaming myself. My husband, of course was furious knowing that I put my son's life at risk. But then again, I learned to forgive myself.
Life has its series of ups and down, we just have to learn to hope and have faith in the invisible guiding hand that is leading us towards a better tomorrow. Needless to say that prayers are also a big help in pursuing a better life.
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